Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
