____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize