Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
