I hope mine doesn't look like that
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
