3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We have started to decorate penises.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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