Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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