My hair reeks of homosexuality.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
