You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
