White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
