Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Dear god my vagina.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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