dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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