So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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