HIV tests are more positive than that guy
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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