I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
