Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
