Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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