I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How naked do you want me to be?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
