it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm at about main and main street
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
