we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
