i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
