It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
