ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My ATM looks so different sober.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This baby is an asshole
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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