i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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