So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
only you would photoshop your dick
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize