well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
