like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
