i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize