When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
