sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
