so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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