and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
