a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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