her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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