If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
