Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
