sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
