ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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