I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
