Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
