Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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