what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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