I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
