Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
