end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
