She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
