You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
not ubering you a puppy
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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