Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
