Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
