youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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