I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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