He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I need moral support for this bender
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
