am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize