Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
