ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
