he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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