You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
