He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
