I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
