just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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