It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
