You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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