It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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