marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
