I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
They took my balls.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
