Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
