I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
